When Janie called the other day
I’m sure she didn’t mean to say
The things about you that she said;
She’s just upset–she’s been misled.

I think you know I’m much too wise
To put much stock in sordid lies,
The sort of rumors people tell
Concerning secretaries and motels.

Of course, her father is concerned
About some story he has learned
About a late-night rendezvous;
I said, “It’s business, and c’est tout!”

He’s just the kind who gets upset
Whenever he perceives a threat
To anyone whom he holds dear
You understand that–it’s quite clear?

You know I’m not the sort that treads
In the affairs of newlyweds
I’ll just say this and nothing more
Then I’ll be leaving–out the door.

Forgive me if I say it plain
If ever someone hurt my Jane
I’d catch that bastard by the balls
And nail his manhood to the wall.

Did I say that? Oh, please don’t tell!
You look so pale! Do you feel well?
I really just stopped by to say
That Janie called the other day.